You know Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, have you planned your special, romantic night together yet? Have you bought your sweetheart’s present yet? Or will it be a last minute run to the grocery store for flowers and candy? Maybe a box of cheap candy in a heart shaped box.
Guys, women use this day as a measurement against how much you care for her. Depending on how well you do, this day can be used against you in arguments even if next year’s Valentine’s gift is spectacular.
Men, we know it doesn’t take a lot to please you, don’t you wish it was that simple for women? If she says she really doesn’t care for anything expensive, don’t fall for it. It’s a trick. What she’s really saying is it better be expensive and something she can show off to her girlfriends and her co-workers.
I’m here to help you out. I’ve compiled a list of gifts that will make you her hero . . . at least until the next holiday.
The best gift is a wonderful experience. As I wrote in:
1. Anticipation of an experience drives happiness — whereas anticipation of a possession drives impatience.
2. Most people stop appreciating things over time. Doesn’t matter if it’s a Tesla or aor a nice couch. Over time, it’ll make you less and less happy. Think about it — when you ask someone what one item they would save if their house were on fire… would you expect them to choose their Coach bag, or their photo albums?
It’s different, of course, if the thing in question is something intrinsically meaningful to you. If you’re a car enthusiast, and you bought a Tesla because it’s so incredibly sexy and green and fun to drive, you may grow to love it more over time. But if you bought it as a status symbol, or because that’s what people with money do, or for some other extrinsic reason — if the car itself, and not the experiences you would have in it, is the reward — then it’s not a good investment for your happiness.
This is where a lot of rich people run into problems. They work hard to make money so they can buy things. But the things don’t make them happy, and they end up feeling lost and wondering what the big deal was.
3. We’re less likely to measure the value of experiences by comparing them to those of others. Again going back to the evolution-wants-us-to-be-jealous-of-other-peoples’-things thing, we tend to judge the value of our things relative to our peers’ things.
Harvard psychologistillustrated this beautifully when he asked study participants if they’d rather have a higher absolute salary that was lower than that of their peers, or a lower absolute salary that was higher than their peers’. Participants were largely unsure.
But. When asked if they’d rather have two weeks of vacation when their peers only got one, or have four weeks of vacation when their peers only got eight… it was a universal no-brainer.
So what you should do is either focus on planning something wonderful — a wonderful picnic, a wonderful evening, a wonderful vacation or weekend getaway, even.
Or,. I saw a list of gifts for women somewhere that included a cashmere sweater. I say, Boring! Give me soft and luxurious, but also warm, wicking and resilient any day!
For all my hiking, camping and outdoor needs.
Or maybe pick out a gift that’s an activity or project you can do together, like aor a .
Or think about a trip you’ve gone on together — say a trip to Mexico. Pick out a gift that will remind him/her of that — something like these(to drink tequila out of) or this .
What specifically you get depends a lot on the person and the kinds of experiences and interests you’ve shared. Just try to keep it focused on an activity or experience, rather than an item, and I think you’ll have a great Valentine’s Day.
We know women love perfumes . . . nothing more to say.
Described by perfume expert Dariush Alavi, Fracas is a “tuberose not without equal.” First created in 1947 by Robert Piguet, some say the notes in this heady floral blend had been tweaked since its original formula, but nonetheless Fracas is still a huge fragrance with an even bigger personality (Isabella Blow wore it every day). More than anything, this black bottle will show her that you are in the perfume know.
5. Visit to a spa.
We know how much women like to be pampered, after all, this is Valentine’s Day . . . a day of pampering our mate. So don’t just send her off to the spa by herself, go along with her (and pamper yourself also).
Vale Resort Spa
This Valentine’s Day don’t just say it with flowers, chocolates or gifts … say it with a truly indulgent treatment at the Vale Spa. On our Valentine’s Spa Experience your loved one will be completely pampered. For her a slow Raspberry and Rose body massage and for him a deep stress relieving body massage – then spend some quality time together relaxing in our six relaxation zones.
* Note – I originally posted this on Huffington Post but it didn’t do much. You can check out the original post. My best Valentine’s moment involved a package of kids’ cards, a roll of ‘Love’ stamps and the addresses of my boyfriend’s home, work, best friend’s house and favorite watering hole. A week before February 14, I signed a passel of these cards with goofy notes, stamped and addressed them to my love’s various haunts, and put them in the mail. I staggered them, so they wouldn’t all show up at once.
In the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, he received these cards himself, or got phone calls from his friends announcing “We have a letter waiting for you.”
It was a fairly inexpensive initiative. The biggest expense was the postage (approximately $15.00); the card pack was less than $5 (because I bought the really cheap, cheesy kind, this was the whole point). The hand-addressing did not take too long. And he loved it, as I recall.